Friday, December 25, 2009

Our Christmas wreath


Complete with little pink pom-pom hats

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Happy 10-month birthday, sweetie <3

*Kissies*

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Mommy's feisty little girl (2 days old)

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Happy 9-month birthday, Faithy!

I sure do miss that cute little face! <3

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Wednesday, November 11, 2009



I miss my baby so much... It's hard to believe that it's been less than six months since the Lord called Faithy home. It seems like it's been so, so long since I last held her. It is hard, but I am so thankful for the 53 weeks that she spent here on earth. That's right, 53 weeks: 40 weeks in my belly and 13 in my arms. One year and seven days. What a blessing! It went by so fast --too fast. God knows I would do it all over again if I could.

Some people tell me that I'm strong, but if they knew the truth, they would know that I have all the strength of a baby bird with one broken wing. I am not strong, but my God is strong. His love is strong. He gives me the peace and joy to carry on. And He comforts me with these words:

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."

Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?"

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him."

Monday, October 19, 2009

Happy 8-month birthday, Faithy...

Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever. (Psalm 23:6)

video
Faith and her soukie

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Happy 7-month birthday

Seven months ago at 12:26pm my little sweetie was born!
Happy 7-month birthday, Faithy :) If I could do it all over again,
I would.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Another beautiful portrait


Pencil sketch by Bethany Kerr (4 days old)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Untitled poem



Six months and fourteen days ago, you left your mommy's womb.
Though you were 13 days past-due, mommy felt it was too soon!
But mommy had no choice, so she prayed that you would stay.
God gave mommy faith and hope and drove her fears away.
The doctors said there was no hope and nothing they could do.
All I wanted was just one day that I could spend with you.
On the nineteenth day of February, you cried your first cry.
You smiled your first smile... you sighed your first sigh.
You were the cutest, sweetest baby that anyone had seen
And your mommy was the happiest that she had ever been!
They said it was impossible for you to live and thrive --
For weeks and weeks they wondered how you were still alive.
With God all things are possible; mommy knew it all along.
Science boasted knowledge but God proved science wrong.
I know that you're in Heaven now. There is no better place.
Someday I'll be there with you, by God's amazing grace.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Sweetest little voice...

video
Lunchtime feeding (3 days old)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Happy 6-month birthday, sweetie sweets!

Six months ago today my baby girl was born. Three months ago we got to celebrate Faith's 3-month birthday with her. God blessed us with so much time with her and yet it's never enough. I miss my favourite girl everyday. Wishing my sweetie a happy 6-month birthday with Jesus :o)

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Sleeping comfortably on Mommy (1 day old)

Thursday, August 6, 2009

My dream come true

February 8, 2009
"The carseat that I hope I can take Faith home in."

February 21, 2009
Bringing her home.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Waking up from a nap


video
6 days old

Saturday, July 25, 2009

1-day-old Faith

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I'm so rumbly in my tumbly, time for something sweet...

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Carrying to term

If your unborn baby has been diagnosed with anencephaly and you are in the process of deciding whether or not to carry your baby to term, you have come to the right place (and I have no doubt that God has led you here). Neither road is easy when you are told that your baby is not going to live, but (trust me...) carrying to term is the only one road worth taking. You have nothing to lose by seeing your baby's life through, and believe me, there is so much to gain that you can't even imagine at this point. You will never regret carrying your baby to term, no matter how much time you are blessed with. Even if it is only for a minute (or less than that), it will be worth it. The time you spend with your baby will prove to be priceless --time that you wouldn't trade for anything.

For support on carrying to term, please follow this link to the "anencephaly blessings from above" online support group:

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Happy 5-month birthday, Faithy!

It's hard to believe that only two months ago we were celebrating Faith's 3-month birthday with her. At that time she was learning to suck on a bottle and seemed to be doing so well. We had no idea that we would lose her four days later. Today Faith would have turned five months old. I'm missing her all the time... wish I could see what she's doing right now. Happy 5-month birthday, sweetie xox

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Missing my girl...


1 day old

Sunday, June 28, 2009

In Loving Memory

video
A slide-show tribute

Friday, June 19, 2009

It's the 19th again

I just realized that we would have been celebrating Faith's 4-month birthday today. We probably would have watched our Winnie the Poo movie (I would have sang all the songs of course). I was actually thinking about watching that movie today, hmm maybe that's why I thought of it.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Pencil sketch

I got a gift today... a beautiful pencil sketch of Faith that looks exactly like her picture, only without the tube feed and with angel wings :) I could cry looking at it, it is just so beautiful. Looks like her in every way. A woman named Bethany made this for me and sent it all the way from Alabama. I can't believe it made it all that way without a scratch! I'll take a picture of it tomorrow so you can see :)

Friday, June 12, 2009

Prayers for mommies and babies

I've created a new blog where I will be posting my friends' prayer requests and praise reports. This new blog is devoted entirely to mommies and babies who need prayer, especially the moms who are carrying babies with anencephaly to term. Please visit http://www.prayers-for-mommies-and-babies.blogspot.com/ to find out how you can pray for these women and their families.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I thought I'd post a few more home videos of Faith today... so comforting to look back on those memories.

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First kiss from mommy (just born)

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Grampa taking a video (evening of her birthday)

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She used to pull her own arm out of her sleeve for me. Grammy and I were trying to catch it on video. (3 weeks, 2 days old)

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


Four days old... big smile :)

So, I think this might be "the" photo. I have been trying to decide on a photo to include in my thank-you cards, and I think this may be it :) I still have some photos to sort through, but I really like this one. It was taken when she was 4 days old. That was a really good day! Faith was just full of big smiles that day... from ear to ear. Looking back, I would say that was one of the happiest days of my life.

Friday, May 29, 2009

It's hard to believe that Faith left us just 6 days ago... we miss her so much. 
My little sweetie <3

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Looks just like her mama... ready to go outside

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Time for some milk (8 days old)


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Newborn Faith

The first few days after Faith was born were the happiest of my life. She was so talkative at that age! When she ate it was by mouth, and she tasted mommy's sweet milk. She always had a red face and a big gummy smile whenever she got feisty. She squeeled when I kissed her and cried when she needed to be fed or changed. She didn't need any medecine or a feeding tube. I find a lot of comfort in watching these videos :)

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Mommy and Faith (3 days old)

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"Wali" (3 days old)

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My hungy baby (3 days old)

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Very hungry baby... (5 days old)

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Having some lunch (5 days old)

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Memories


Mommy and feisty Faith

We spent the night holding Faith and reliving some of the wonderful memories captured of her on video. I will never get over her cuteness... her sweet little voice and all her little facial expressions, her feisty personality, the way she hummed to herself when sucking on her soukie... the way she looked like a baby bird whenever she would suck in her bottom lip, the little dip between her bottom lip and her chin, the way she would route around and suck on mommy's nose, her big exaggerated sneezes, all her smiles and grins... I am convinced that she was the most adorable little girl there ever was. I just keep watching the "Kisses" video over and over again. It never gets old. I will be posting many more photos and videos of Faith in the coming days and weeks... I'm sure it will be a huge comfort for me. I am so grateful for all the time I had with Faith and for all the photos and videos and for the memories we shared. And I can't wait to see her again... I don't know how she could get any cuter but I'm sure she is even more beautiful now that she is living it up in Heaven.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

The best 93 days of my life...

were spent with my daughter. Faith went to Heaven today. We spent most of the day snuggling together in my warm bed. She was starting to go a little cold, but mommy kept her warm. I told her that I loved her many times. I was holding her in my arms when she passed away. It was around 4:40 in the afternoon. That was several hours ago now, but she still looks so beautiful. She is looking like a little porcelain doll. Her tube feed is gone. Her lips are still pink and her facial expression looks so happy and peaceful. God is good.

Thank you all for your prayers.

13 weeks, 2 days old

Asking for your prayers today. Faith is suffering from stomach bloating and bleeding ulcers, most likely the combined result of irritation from the feeding tube and prolonged use of one of her medications. We have taken her to the emergency room once, but we have decided not to take extreme measures to treat her (ie. surgery). I am trying to let her stomach rest as much as possible and giving her acid blockers. I am doing my best to keep her comfortable and diligently praying that God will intervene. Faith is wrapped up snuggly in her blanky and has been opening her eyes and blinking --not something that we see very often. I hope you'll keep us in prayer today. Thanks for checking in; I'll update you soon.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Happy 3-month birthday, Faith! :D

Faith turned 3 months old today and I couldn't be happier! She is doing very well these days. I'm just letting her tummy settle right now (she just ate) and then I think we might go for a little stroll outside. It's a gorgeous day out today but it's been rainy the past couple days and we've been cooped-up inside.

That's all for now! I may post a few new videos later if I have time. Thanks for checking in :)

Saturday, May 16, 2009

12 weeks & 2 days old



Faith's Lullaby
(written by Mommy)

Faith, you are my baby girl
Most beautiful one in the world
You came into my life one day
And now I'll never be the same

Ten fingers and ten tiny toes
Rosebud lips, a button nose
You came into the world that day
And never will it be the same

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

12 weeks old!!! :)

Faith is 12 weeks old today. In 5 days she'll be 3 months old! :) My little girl is doing so well... she's been full of energy these past couple days and I started puting her to the breast again. I don't have much of a milk supply right now, but we are doing some practice nursing and she's been doing quite well! She's getting stronger everyday. Faith truly is a miracle and it's amazing how many miracles we've been blessed with in these past 12 weeks. She's bounced back so many times, and all thanks to God and those of you who have lifted up your prayers in Jesus' name. Just think... Faith was given a 0% chance of survival. Not even a 1% chance of survival --zero. They say her condition is "incompatible with life." I was told she would only live a few minutes or hours... a couple of days at best. But just look at her --almost 3 months old and still going strong. I can only thank God for that. Never forget, with God ALL things are possible.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

11 weeks & 5 days old


video
Busy feet today!

11 weeks & 4 days old



The "baby bird" face

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Very content in her stroller :)

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

10 weeks & 6 days old



Well, we didn't get out for a stroll today, but rainy days are nice once and a while. The rain can be kind of peaceful. Faithy is looking and feeling good :) And a mother knows when her baby is feeling good or bad, isn't that right, moms? I find I can pick up on the most subtle cues about what Faith needs or how she is feeling. We had to take a little trip to the ER last night to get a brand new tube feed, since they are only good for a month (ok, I'll come clean... I accidentally snipped her tube with the scissors last night when I was cutting her old bandage off lol). We met a young doctor there who was really nice. It really shows when a doctor has genuine compassion for his patients. And of course, the nurses were great too --as usual! A shout out to my peeps in the ER ;) Hehe...

Sunday, May 3, 2009

10 weeks & 3 days old


Faith's new sweater... sooo cute lol (handmade by her great aunt Debbie)

Faith is finally starting to feel better after a few days of withdrawals from an attempt to lower her Prednisolone. I guess this ween is going to take longer than we thought! But the main thing is that she is comfortable. Check out the cute sweater my aunt made for Faith :) I like the pointy hood hehe... hope everyone is having a good weekend. Thanks for checking in!

Thursday, April 30, 2009

10 weeks old!!!



video
Cutest little voice :)

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

9 weeks & 5 days old

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Tickly feet!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Saturday, April 25, 2009

First stroll :)


Last night we took our first stroll ever :) It was such a beautiful evening. Plus sixteen degrees, sunny, no wind. The perfect weather... I snapped a few photos of course. I am loving this Winnie the Poo travel system! It's like a cozy little bed on wheels. I've been rolling her around the house in it too lol... she loves it.

Oh, and I have a prayer request for you... there is a woman named Lisa who I recently met, and she found out about 5 weeks ago that her baby is special like Faith. It's a scary and emotional time when you're pregnant with a baby who doctors say has "no chance" of surviving (even though we know that's not true!), so please send up your prayers for her and her baby as you have for me and Faith. She doesn't know if she's having a boy or a girl yet, but I'm sure she will be finding that out soon. I know I should be posting more prayer requests here... other people coming to my mind right now are Holly (the mother of baby Carleigh) and little baby Benjamin, who is on his way. If you could keep those people in prayer that would be great!

And as always, thank you for your continuous prayers for Faith and I :)

Friday, April 24, 2009

9 weeks & 1 day old



It's a beautiful day outside! Well maybe a bit chilly, but nice and sunny. It's suppose to warm up a lot this weekend and I'm excited to try out our new stroller :) Me and Grammy did Faith's bandage change again this morning and it went well. My friend Jennifer might come over later to snap some pictures with her good camera. My camera is not the highest quality, as you can tell ;) Okay so who wants a good laugh? With all the criticism I've gotten about doing too much for Faith, someone actually threatened to call social services on me for not doing enough! The reason was because she saw a little video clip of Faith wheezing and thought I was neglecting to treat her. Seriously??? She's on three kinds of medication for her breathing. Speaking of Faith's breathing, it's time for her a mask now. Thanks for checking in.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

This is too cute...

video

9 weeks old

video
flashback... 3 days old

It might surprise you to know that Faith is capable of taking milk by mouth. She went without a tube for the first 25 days of her life. A tube feed was inserted when she lost too much weight as a result of not getting enough milk. It takes more effort for her to coordinated her sucking and swallowing than most babies, and she tired before getting enough. She also has a partial cleft palate and that makes eating more difficult too. It doesn't mean that she cannot eat on her own, but rather, she was not eating enough. Many babies with special conditions need feeding tubes in order to get their required intake. They are often just temporary. The tube is a very soft, flexible plastic and does not cause discomfort. Faith makes more of a fuss when I wipe her face then when her tube is inserted! I think she is doing really well, all things considered.

9 weeks old! :)

video

Faith is 9 weeks old today!!! Her uncle Phil is now home from university, so it will be nice to have him around. It has really been beautiful here lately... well it's been a bit rainy but the spring peep frogs are chirping and it makes for a really beautiful and soothing ambiance. There are marsh lands behind our house so we are surrounded by wildlife sounds here. It's supposed to get up to plus 20 degrees and sunny this weekend, and I can't wait to take Faith out for a stroll :) By the way... thanks to everyone who has sent encouraging messages and to all those who are praying for us! Ok, time for bed (it's 1:48 am here). Thanks for checking in.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

8 weeks, 5 days old

Well, once again God has pulled some strings for us in order to provide for Faith's needs :) She has gotten a bit more wheezy since this cold, but I have been wanting to change her to a less harsh (but much more expensive) medication called Pulmicort. I've had her on Prednisolone for quite a while but that drug lowers the immune system and has other side effects... Anyway, I was told that Pulmicort is quite expensive, and Faith doesn't have any drug coverage. But as my mom swung by the clinic today to talk to our nurse practitioner, well what do you know... someone had just dropped off a bunch of Pulmicort and Ventolin that they didn't need anymore. The two drugs that Faith needs! So we were able to get her medecine for free :) Woohoo! I'm telling you, God is on our side.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Happy 2-month birthday, Faithy! :)

video

We're having a beautiful weekend over here... hopefully I'll get my hands on a stroller soon so we can start getting out for walks. Faith has been frisky lately, as you can tell by the video :) She's getting nice and chubby again and she has a lot more energy. Faith isn't completely over her cold but I think she's feeling a lot better now. She has been more wheezy since getting this cold, so I've had to increase her Prednisolone again (which I was trying to ween her off of). But as you can see, she is doing fairly well! I'm so excited about her turning 2 months old...

Grammy and I have done her last 2 dressing changes by ourselves, which is something we never thought we could or would do. It takes us a bit of time, but we're doing ok with it. I'm the one who takes off her old bandage and cleans everything and applies the new dressing, and my mom does the preparation and holds Faith in a sitting position while I work away, and she rolls the gauze around (something I think she'd be better at than me). So we have a system down... it's just a matter of getting used to that routine and getting more comfortable with it each time we do it. I'm happy that we have tomorrow off! We're doing it every second day now.

A friend I met through an online anencephaly support forum, PJ, recently had her baby boy. Baby Seth was born on Thursday morning and passed away later that evening. PJ must be dealing with a lot right now, as she's also recovering from her c-section. I cannot even imagine what she is going through... Please keep her and her family in prayer. http://www.babysethryan.blogspot.com/

Thanks for checking in... I'll try to post again real soon!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

7 weeks & 6 days old

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Sittin' with mommy

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

7 weeks & 5 days old

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Lookin' good, girl!

Faith is 6 pounds & 8 ounces today... she's almost back to her birth weight! And that is saying a lot because she was a really chubby baby when she was born (she had 3 rolls on her thighs alone). Faith only weighed 5 pounds, 4 ounces on the day she had her tube feed inserted, so this is a big improvement. She's looking great :)

Monday, April 13, 2009

7 weeks & 4 days old



I hope everyone had a good weekend! Here are a couple videos that I took this morning.

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Waking up

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Cooing

Sunday, April 12, 2009

7 weeks, 3 days old

Well we got a lot of snow this weekend! Faith and I haven't stepped foot outside all week. She's had a pretty persistent cold and her nose has been stuffy and getting plugged, but her eyes are looking 100 times better. They actually look completely normal again, which to me seems quite miraculous. If you could see the before and after photos you would not believe it... anyways, it's Easter weekend! Uncle Phil came home for a couple days but he went back to university this evening.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

6 weeks, 5 days old

video
Hangin around

Monday, April 6, 2009

6 weeks, 4 days old


video
6 weeks & 1 day old... getting frisky

Well I am finally updating my blog! At least I'm going to try to, as long as Faith keeps sleeping soundly. So we found out why her eyes were swelling. Well we don't really know what started it but it has to do with paralysis of the muscles of her eyes (I guess?). I know it's something like Bell's palsy but I forget the medical term for it. She is still blinking them but it's as if the inside of her top eyelids are falling out. The right eyelid needs to be "stuffed" back under and held closed but I managed to prevent the left eyelid from drooping out. As soon as I saw it start to swell up I taped it closed and you know what... it sounds crazy and looks odd but it actually worked. So now that the swelling is down the left eye still looks normal on the outside, but she has little eyepatches (well, non-stick pads that we tape over them) on both eyes just to keep them from getting any worse, and obviously to hold everything in on her right eye. Anyway... so that is the whole eye situation. Not too many issues other than that. Her breathing has been good and I'm weening her off the Prednisolone (it was every 6 hours and now it's every 12 hours) and the Ventolin. The poor girl still has a cold and she's at the stage where she's stiffing all the time and her nose gets plugged, so I've been puting the bulb syringe to good use. We had to make a trip to the ER at 3am on Saturday morning because her feeding tube slipped out, but no troubles there. Trauma was empty so we took her in there to get out of the waiting room and it was nice and quiet. The triage nurse had actually read this blog before and knew who Faith was, so that was cool! So we had a very early morning on Saturday... but that tube was looking grungy and needed to be replaced soon anyway, so this was a good excuse to do so. Faith's uncle Phil was home for the weekend and got up the nerve to hold her for the first time hehe... he's in first year university but sometimes he comes home on the weekends. I think next weekend is Easter (so I'm told) so maybe he'll be home again then. Last Easter Sunday I was baptized but I'm not sure if I'll even get to church this year. I don't want Faith to catch any germs, otherwize I would... Okay, that's all I have time for. Just wanted to update you all cause I know it's been a while since I posted. If I don't post again for a couple of days, don't freak! I'm just a very busy mommy, as I'm sure you can understand. Thanks for checking in!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

41 days old

Poor little Faith has a swollen eye lid today... extremely swollen... and my efforts to bring down the swelling aren't doing much. Just dropping a note to ask for some prayer on that! She is doing well, though. As bad as it looks, Faith doesn't seem to be bothered by it in the least (until I put the cold compress to it... she can't stand anything cold touching her!). Anyways, that's all for now. Thanks for checking in!

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

40 days old

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Faith in her big girl PJ's